Movie Review: Cheeni Kum**

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So India seems to be in this whole ‘let’s talk about taboo or unconventional subjects, that’ll give us a hit’ mood – and voila, we have Cheeni Kum.

{FYI: I’ve found a little Bollywood video club close to home, and was ecstatic to see that they had the latest (though fake) films, but no problem – as long as it’s watchable I don’t give a shit about piracy}

Anyway, 64-year old hottie Amitabh Bachchan falls in love with 34-year old Tabu. Big controversy. Tabu’s father Paresh Rawal goes on a hunger-strike in protest. That was all of his role, quite an insult to his talent actually. Bachchan gives him some super filmi dialogue. They get married. That’s all it was and it was 2-hours 20 minutes long.

Very average film with mediocre script that didn’t do much justice to the film’s superb actors. The humour was cheesy and the small details in the film were overthought:- e.g. Tabu asks Bachchan to run to the closest tree and back to see if he has stamina to do more than touch her hand. HUH?

I found the side-kick with bad teeth called ‘Colgate’ the funniest part of the film. Oh and I couldn’t keep my eyes off Bachchan’s pigtail. It was the ugliest and most distracting pigtail I have ever seen. Why did they have to give him a puny pigtail?

There is a cute little girl in the film called ‘sexy’. 9-years old, she plays Bachchan’s best friend and is dying of cancer. In the beginning I thought it was a well thought out detail of the film, but it bypassed all the nerves and died (literally) too soon.

The scenes were trying too hard to be funny. Tabu’s pet name was Tangdi Kebab, and Bachchan’s Ghasspoos. Funny. Bachchan did manage to pull it off gracefully though, and looks good.

Tabu had the corniest dialogues and too many scenes walking as if she was doing a Sunsilk commercial; Zohra Segal who plays Bachchan’s mother was typically Zohra Segal so she was a joy to watch.

Thank God there was no kissing scene, I would have barfed.

Oh and I forgot to mention a very important character in the film: Bachchan’s umbrella. The movie has more umbrella than song, can you believe it?

Other than the focus on Paresh Rawal being a diabetic, and Tabu finding the rice in Bachchan’s restaurant too sweet, I didn’t quite get the sence of the film’s ‘less sugar’ name either.

Hmmm. I can’t help thinking I missed the plot of the film. The message was interesting and valid, especially for an Indian society, but it’s depiction was pretty lame.

Wait for the DVD to come out – and that too only if you fancy some cooking tips (Bachchan is a famous Chef in the film), but otherwise it’s quite a waste of time.

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