Wow. I cannot believe I have been here for 5 months already, I feel I arrived yesterday. It’s so scary how time flies; there never seems to be enough time! I think 6 months is just enough time to blend into a new country. It’s just about enough time to begin picking up the language somewhat decently, get to know locals, and begin living like a local. And now, thanks to my Indian passport, I have to leave. Just when I have my feet stuck into something. SUCKS.
My heart is already in my throat.
After many nights of tossing and turning with thoughts about what next, I woke up yesterday knowing: I don’t want to leave Spain.
All my other million ideas of – working in Bollywood, auditioning for MTV, dancing in a professional salsa group that tours the world, getting my PR job back in Dubai, living in Bangalore, being a spiritual guide (don’t ask me about this one), learning Arabic, being a tour-guide in Darwin, volunteering in Brasil, teaching English in Mexico, living in New York etc etc, have all taken a back step for the moment. Oh yes, I still plan to touch every idea before crossing it off the list, but for the moment I know I want to come back to Spain, learn the language kick-ass, write and try to get published, and teach English to keep some income rolling in. It’s nice to know what you want.
Yes random, yes unstable. Yes this list of things makes me a strange, unrealistic and perhaps a fickle minded person – but hey, that’s me and these are things I’d like to do, I don’t care if it pokes anyone elses bum. Fortunatley, I can afford to have all these random dreams, some of which may just come true. It’s a directionless direction. Hmm. Now how many of you have that!?
A house on the beach, a car, marriage, children, steady income – I just don’t see on my cards at the moment. My grandmum almost had a heart attack when I told her that marriage isn’t in fashion anymore 🙂
There is so much out there to find, to do, and the more you look, the more you find and the more you want to find. It’s very easy to live a conventional life, it’s what is drilled into us from when we are young, especially in India. There is nothing wrong with a conventional life. Infact it’s the safer option. But nowhere close to being as fun and fulfilling as doing something a bit unconventional. I’m too young to be working in a job that ,yes, pays but for all the wrong reasons. I have done that for 4 years, worked my ass off, earned some money but now have no plans of getting back into the business world. Even if I may one day need to live on a shoe-string.
The last 5 months have probably been the most nourishing because for the first time I took 6 months off and did exactly what I wanted to. Why should things be different now?