Since I have started blogging, personal emails to close ones have stopped. I have actually started using my emails for necessary correspondence only. Some friends might be relieved that I don’t write them intricate details of my life anymore.
Yesterday I wrote an email to a friend V, after a long time. I had no news, no gossip, hadn’t bought anything, or done anything remotely interesting. Yet I wrote him about 30 lines. And I noticed that I actually miss being so open and uninhibited when writing. I wrote absolute crap in that email, it was meaningless and not required at at all, but I enjoyed writing it (he just had to bear reading it! as long as the ‘delete’ command exists in his email function – its all good :). It was my way of communicating with someone without worrying about being judged.
Blogging has curbed my freedom of expression. When I blog, I always think of what other people will think of what I’m writing. That goes against the whole purpose of a blog. A blog is a person’s opinion about anything under the sun – and the minute you start tailoring your opinion, or restricting it, fun is lost.
Perhaps its because my blog is not anonymous, I’m a bit weary. But anonymity and transparency don’t go hand in hand.
Perhaps it’s because my day to day thoughts do not revolve around earth shattering issues, what they do revolve around primarily is my life, and the people in it. Subsequently, I do not want to post anything on this space that is open to the whole world – that might offend anyone, or seem like back-biting or like I don’t have the balls to say it out loud, so I’m posting it on my blog.
I don’t know what it is. Perhaps I don’t want my blog to be my daily diary – open to everyone. Perhaps I’m realising that I am quite a private person, and do not want strangers delving into intricacies of my day to day existance.
I like that I have realised this. I can now resume my nonsense emails, and blog at the same time – big difference. Perhaps now I can give my blog a bit of a definition as well.
Yes blogging is a great way of keeping in touch, and keeping those who care updated. If you can be an open book to the whole world, be it. But if you do want to keep some of your ‘ridiculousness’ for a few – thats cool too.
Guess I’m not capable of ‘just blogging it’.